Posts tagged with ‘dickheads’
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There’s Always One
To the man in the green t-shirt with headphones on, and a cassette walkman in his hand, who stopped in front of me this morning while I was busking at Liverpool Street, waved his hand in front of my face to get my attention, then give me the thumbs down, please come back on Monday to collect your refund. I’m very sorry if the performance you were audience to for fifteen seconds was not up to the standard you might expect for the £0 you paid to see it. In future, I’ll ensure that whatever I play compliments nicely whatever you’re listening to a tape of on your way to work.
Perhaps if you’d stopped to listen, you might have found that I’m more than capable of performing something that you find enjoyable – like the small crowd that gathered towards the end of my pitch did, or the tens of people who stopped, took money out of their purses or wallets, and put it in my guitar case did. In fact, if you’d spared another fifteen seconds this morning, we might have been able to have a brief but illuminating conversation about what your hand signal meant. Unfortunately, though, since you were too preoccupied with listening to your portable stereo, you didn’t hear me stop and say “What?” after you’d thumbed me down. Were you rating my performance or the choice of song? Telling me to turn it down? Were you, in fact, being sarcastic?
Most importantly, though, why did feel that it’s your job to let me know how bad you think I am? Do you do this to every busker you see? To your lover, in bed? Isn’t there enough misery being spread, thick like wet clay, over the lives of London residents – particularly on fifth morning commute of the week through a rush hour tube station – that your contribution is redundant?
Come back on Monday and I’ll buy you a smoothie and give you a hug, you miserable cunt.
